I’ve drawn the Devil several times recently, and that’s always a sign that I need to pay attention to something a little more closely. This morning when I was shuffling for a daily draw two cards fell out and fluttered to land on my feet under my desk. I picked them up and huh, there it was again. The Devil.
The Devil usually talks about bondage and addiction. I’ve seen it talked about representing drugs or abusive co-dependent relationships. For me it’s not nearly so sensational. The Two of Swords is all about making choices.
My particular devil is food, sugary, salty, snacky, carb heavy food. It’s my addiction and I have diabetes so I really have to work hard to keep that particular devil in check. On Saturday I gave in a little too much, a lemon scone with raspberry jam, a Kouign Aman, a cheese quesadilla, pancakes, and too many triscuits. Normally, what this would do is cause my blood sugar to go sky high. And maybe it did and I just didn’t notice.
But what happened next really surprised me (sorry, too many click-bait articles). I started feeling nauseous and shaky and I found myself sitting in the bathroom sweating buckets. I had to text my wife to bring me my diabetic testing kit to check my blood sugar. And it was low, really low. The lowest low I’ve personally ever had. Thankfully it wasn’t a “race you to the hospital” low, but it needed treating urgently. My wife, because she’s AWESOME, grabbed my starbursts and brought them to me. Starbursts used to be one of my favorite candies, but now they’re my blood sugar recovery tool. I’m not allowed to just eat them anymore because they are straight up sugar and they send blood sugar racing skywards. I had a bunch of those and after about a half an hour I wasn’t sweaty and shaky anymore and my numbers were where they ought to be. And then I crashed and fell asleep in my easy chair for a while. Bouncing back from a low like that takes a LOT out of me, I’m exhausted and zoned out for a while, and it sucks.
And then, these two cards literally fell out of my deck while shuffling. They’re a little on the nose. I’ve got an addiction and I’ve got two choices, I can either make healthy responsible choices or I can end up sick and weak and wasting my days.
So today I had a protein bar for breakfast, packed a healthy lunch, and I’m having Sriracha almonds as my mid morning snack. And I’m feeling healthy and my numbers are good.
Thanks for the message, Tarot, I’ll try to keep it up.